I realise what I am about to write will probably be my undoing, I am fairly convinced it will jinx things so much that I will never sleep more than an hour at a time ever, ever again. But here goes.
After 21 months of breastfeeding Pea to sleep, after 21 months of him only sleeping when next to someone, preferably me, preferably with milk, and after not quite… Continue reading
My poor blog, I barely seem to get chance to post anything these days. Mainly because I am knackered. My knackeredness has been made worse the last couple of weeks due to Little Pea enduring an ear and throat infection, bronchiolitis, and cutting three new teeth, all timed beautifully to coincide with my return to work. Nights of constant feeding, of stripping vomit-covered nightclothes off Pea and myself, and of… Continue reading
Most days, my morning goes like this:
Alarm call from The Baby around 6am. Get up and change her nappy while The Boyfriend makes a bottle for her and a cup of tea for us (I know, I’m lucky), and bring her into our bed. Have a play with The Baby in bed after she’s finished her milk until play turns to smacking, biting and pinching, at which point… Continue reading
Last night the journey home from my parents’ house was the setting for another first for The Baby. Recently we have bought The Baby’s first pair of shoes, and we’ve listened in amazement as she has told us that a cat says “Maow”, a sheep says “Baa”, and a cow says “Mmmm” (I assume the “oo” will come in time) and drinks of water have been… Continue reading
I’ve always had a bit of a wandering mind, and a low boredom threshold. This means that I usually have to be doing two things at once, whilst also thinking about other things I could or should be doing, like wiping round the sink while I’m brushing my teeth and thinking about what to wear that day, what The Baby will wear that day, whether the washing basket is collapsing… Continue reading
Sometimes I wish it was ten months ago, so that I could sit with you in my arms for hour after hour, until 3 or 4am but not really noticing the time, at which point I’d carry you upstairs and cuddle you in my bed for the rest of the night.
Sometimes I wish it was ten months ago, so that I could spend hours gazing… Continue reading
Never one for the melodrama (Oh, OK, sometimes one for the melodrama) I decided not to write about this particular thing that has been a part of my life for the last two months. But now, it has become so incessant, so present, so all-consuming that I can no longer ignore it. It is there and it is real. It is insomnia.
I simply cannot sleep.
It’s not that I am… Continue reading
I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, I should have just kept my optimistically big mouth shut. No grief and no guilt, eh? Pah. Did it sound like I had made a complaint, like I felt these things were creating a hole in my life?? Today I have felt guiltier and more grief-stricken than I have in a long while. Grief-stricken is, perhaps, a tad strong. Maybe just anguished, vexed… Continue reading
- The Baby and The Boyfriend on holiday
We are half way through the week that I’ve been dreading for… oh, about a month now. I’ve had countless sleepless nights caused by the panic of spending a whole week with an over-tired, unhappy, unsettled Baby, which in turn have produced an over-tired… Continue reading
We are going on holiday for a week. Nowhere fancy, just to a little cottage on the coast. We will have views of the harbour, be five minutes walk from the very quaint town, and a good bracing walk away from the beach.
It’s a final farewell to my time as full-time Mummy and I should be excited.
But I’m not.
I am dreading it. DREADING it… Continue reading