I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, but it’s difficult to find the right words, and occasionally the right words pop into my head but it tends to be at something-past-insomnia-in-the-morning and just NO to getting out of bed to even scribble with a pen and paper, but then maybe only I think they’re the right words and everyone else will think they’re the wrong words or stupid… Continue reading
Tag Archives: depression
Yesterday an odd thing happened. Not a bad odd thing, not an amazingly deliciously strange odd thing either. It wasn’t like a sudden clicking of things falling into place, nor a Eureka! moment of life suddenly making sense, but it was something. Something small and almost insignificant, yet undeniably hugely significant.
This is what happened. Sitting in a warm photography studio waiting for costume changes to be perfected, for… Continue reading
…that I love alone-time so. Or maybe it’s motherhood. Or my mental state. Whatever it is, I really do love a bit of space and time to be myself, by myself. It’s taken me many, many years to realise that this is OK, that my gut-felt hatred dislikes of large groups, of conversing in a group of more than three friends, of having every minute of every day accounted for… Continue reading
Today I went to a 6th birthday party. The Princess and The Pea demanded their shoes be removed before piling straight into the soft play, The Husband and I drank coffee and took the rare opportunity to actually talk to fellow parents from school, rather than shout a hasty “Hi how are you?” whilst running across the playground and delivering children to the school door 30 seconds before it closes… Continue reading
So it turns out that taking anti-depressants EVERY DAY is really quite important. A bit like taking the contraceptive pill EVERY DAY is really quite important. Three years ago, when I felt like I was dying, I realised I had over a week’s worth of Loestren left in the packet so I peed on a stick, the window showed a pink cross, and then nine months later I had a… Continue reading
I’ve been away from here for ages. Not only was I without a phone for what seemed like a year, I took a holiday in the Lake District with my family. There were ten of us in total, which meant lots of people to look after The Baby (actually it was just a huge audience for her to entertain daily) while The Boyfriend… Continue reading
The thing with depression is it never really goes away. Even with therapy and even with medication, it never really disappears. It goes quiet, sometimes it becomes so quiet it’s easy to ignore and even forget it’s there. And then one day, suddenly, it roars again. Loud and oppressive and impossible to ignore or forget.
The thing with depression is it’s complicated. Sometimes it’s lured out of hiding by… Continue reading
I’ve not been around here much lately. Not for any reason other than I have been absolutely knackered. I had almost forgotten how tiring pregnancy is, except I can still quite clearly remember falling through the door after work and flopping straight onto the sofa for a nap for an hour or two. This time round it’s not so easy, and I constantly feel shattered. I want to sleep for… Continue reading