Blogging for Company

I have just written a post for Emma’s Diary Blog and it reminded me just why I blog.  I was writing about a particularly difficult morning, alone, sleep-deprived, with two babies to get dried, dressed, fed, to the shops, back in bed, and out to lunch with friends, all with the added extras of a grumpy, temporarily deaf (to any of my requests) toddler, and a sobbing, clingy, tired baby.  It resulted in shouting, screaming. tears all round, and a desperate phonecall to my beautiful sister for help.

Writing the events of that day down made me feel ashamed, as if I didn’t feel as much at the time, but seeing it written down made me feel like a terrible mother.  Telling people that I shouted at my 2 year old and 7 month old because I couldn’t take the sound of their screaming and shouting and crying was not easy, and I feel so ashamed of my behaviour.  It also made me wonder if I am alone, and then it made me ask the questions, “What would you do?  What do you do?  How do you cope?  What strategies do you use to keep calm?  How do you give equal attention to two (or more) children?”

This is what this blog is all about.  Sharing.  Sharing difficult experiences, hearing feedback, getting opinions, helpful advice, or just having someone say “Me too”, and suddenly feeling not so alone on this ridiculously winding journey of motherhood.  Or, you know, having to read comments from people berating me for being the kind of mother that will end up scarring my kids for life by shouting and slamming doors.

I started this blog because I felt guilty and alone for resorting to sleep-training my daughter (I still feel guilty every day for this, and wish I had been able to get her to have a good night’s sleep some other way, any other way), and wanted to know if I really was alone in my struggles.  Turns out I wasn’t.  So, come on, tell me – am I alone in feeling unable to cope with the demands of two little ones?  Am I a terrible mum?  (Actually, keep your comments on that one to yourself…..)

Screaming, crying, shouting, demanding behaviour? From these two? Surely not…

6 Comments

Filed under The (Dummy) Mummy, The Boy, The Children, The Girl

6 Responses to Blogging for Company

  1. Michelle

    Morning, u are a wonderful mummy, I find looking after 1 toddler a handful so I take my hat off to u for looking after 2, I think feeling guilty is a massive part of being a mummy, don’t think there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t feel guilty for some reason or another, we who follow your blog not that you are not one of those shouting & scary mums that we all dread becoming, it was a bad day & you were right to ask for help from your sister, I’ve started to do that a bit more myself recently, no point suffering alone, please don’t think badly of yourself you are a wonderful mummy, who has 2 adorable children and who is just doing there best, as always loving your honesty u make the rest of us know that how we are feeling is totally normal, keep up the brilliant work 🙂 xxxxxxxxx

  2. You are not alone. Not at all. I have 3 littles (8 year old, 4 year old and 5 month old) and I struggle with diving my time between them. The baby takes so much time. When he goes to sleep and i finally have time to myself, the olders want me to play with them. Then, there is no time. It can be depressing at times.

    Then, when I feel like I just need the time I feel guilty saying no.

    The result of this is acid reflux due to the stress. The mind suffers and the body cries out. You can only do it for so long.

    I go to the gym a lot. That is the time I cut out everyday for myself. I put the kids in the kids club (play room at the gym) and put on some music or take a class.

  3. Oh goodness, no, you’re not alone. I feel like Im doing a rubbish job with just one sometimes! Everytime you feel like you’re starting to get on top of things, like behaviour is good, sleeping and eating and weeing are good, some curveball comes along and throws it all out of whack again and you have to turn to other people for help and advice and reassurance. Thank heavens for fellow bloggers who have been through all this before us, eh? xx

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