Co-sleeping: What’s the Problem?

I recently read a blog post about co-sleeping and it’s benefits. Obviously this isn’t for everybody, and pre-children, the idea of sharing my bed with anyone other then The Boyfriend was pretty horrifying.  But when The Princess came along, I fell head over heels in love with her and didn’t want to be apart from her for a minute.  She also demanded to be fed every hour, which got rather tiring rather quickly, and coupled with my lingering SPD and rather painful stitches, jumping in and out of bed for feeds wasn’t all that easy.  So we started co-sleeping.  And for us, it worked.

Except The Boyfriend wasn’t always that comfortable and sometimes would end up in the spare room, so when we found out Little Pea was on his way, we bought a super-king size bed so that we would all get a good night’s sleep. And we do. Pea wriggles and writhes in his sleep, letting me know that he is getting hungry, I stick my boob in his mouth and we drift off back to sleep again. None of us (yes, I’m looking at you, Boyfriend) fully wakes, there’s no crying or screaming from Little Pea to let me know he is hungry, and in the morning I feel like I’ve had at least a half-decent night’s sleep.

Now I’m not telling you this to make the point that you should all be co-sleeping, that this is the only way to successfully parent your baby, I’m simply saying that this works for our family.  So why is it that people get so het up about it?

The blog post I referred to earlier is just one mum’s point of view on co-sleeping which gives some advice to those who want to try it, or want to find out more about it.  Yet, if you read the comments, two readers get particularly nasty about it and about Attachment Parenting, and go as far as saying that co-sleeping will cause her partner to cheat on her!

I get that whatever opinion you have, someone will always disagree, and I certainly get that this holds especially true if you dare express your opinion on the interweb, but if someone co-sleeps and someone else doesn’t WHO CARES?!  What difference does it make to anyone if a mother chooses to share her bed with her baby, or even if that baby’s father does end up cheating on his partner?  Does it affect anyone other than that family?  No.

The thing that really got to me was the comment that co-sleeping is “lazy parenting” and that by getting up to check on your children in the night somehow makes you a better mother because it requires effort.  This is such a narrow-minded judgement, and having been horrendously sleep-deprived when The Princess was little, I can safely say that getting a decent sleep is vitally important in order to function, however you decide to do that.  Getting up four or five times in the night to go into another room to feed Little Pea would result in me getting virtually no sleep, and would make me a very grumpy, overly-tired, over-emotional mummy, which would be bad for everyone in our house.

For us at this point in time, co-sleeping is perfect, and I make no apologies for it, even if it does make me a Lazy Mummy.  I probably should, however, make some apologies for directing you to Kourtney Kardashian’s blog, and for having a very slight girl-crush on her, and for being a little obssessed with that family’s reality TV empire.  At 33 I really should know better…

6 Comments

Filed under Breastfeeding, The (Dummy) Mummy, The Boy

6 Responses to Co-sleeping: What’s the Problem?

  1. Lazy? There ain’t nothing lazy about being a new mum! I can’t stand women lecturing other women with their self-righteous crap. Each to their own and it’s no one else’s business anyway. Unfortunately, many mums put it out on the Internet and it often raises opinions and gets people’s backs up, that’s just the curse of social media. Co-sleeping was never for me but I’d never dream of dictating to someone that it’s wrong, and if it had been for me, I wouldn’t dream of dictating that it’s right either. Gawd, some people need to rein themselves in!

  2. Co-sleeping worked for us too. It got us a half-decent nights sleep and I’m sure there are other ways to be a lazy parent if I wanted to be. My partner has not cheated and our relationship has not suffered one little bit. We have four children, so sleeping apart for relatively short periods has obviously not been an issue for us. If people think that co-sleeping makes me some sort of hippy-weirdo, then so be it. I couldn’t give a stuff what they think and they can stuff off. Great post.

  3. Really well observed. I got accused of ‘mothering’ my baby too much because we co-slept, which mystified me because I rather thought I was his mother and mothering was kind of what I was supposed to do. Don’t understand why some people who have tried a thing and found it not to be for them have to be acrimoniously against it forever after.

    troubles mum: I laughed when I read your comment about people assuming you are a hippy-wierdo for co-sleeping. I get that a lot.

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