So Christmas is over. All the shopping, the planning, the wrapping and the visiting, all done for another year. I still love this time, though. This quiet bit after the ‘big day’, when you can actually spend time with family and friends, and talk and eat cake and drink tea, and not have to worry about who else you need to see, which presents you need to deliver, who you still need to write cards for.
This is exactly what I have been doing the last couple of days; sitting lots, eating lots and doing lots of nothing. It’s lovely. I’ve also been trying to wrack my baby-brain as to what was happening this time last year, and I’m at a total loss. Last Christmas seems like a blur of sleep-deprivation, anxiety and general unhappiness. I really don’t remember anything after Christmas day. I wish I had been blogging back then, I might have started to feel better quicker if I had.
This year has been different for many reasons, including being on medication that works, having a Baby that sleeps (actually, that’s not true, but she does sleep for more than an hour or two at a time, which makes a very big difference), and having a place where I can get my thoughts out of my head and into a community that listens and responds and supports. I have a feeling I’m about to get a little gushy here. The difference that writing this blog has made has been unimaginable. I never realised that sharing my writing would be so therapeutic and make such a difference to me. Not just in terms of my mental health, but in terms of finding ‘me’ again and finding my creative niche again. I had thought that nine years of being in a science-based profession had just about killed any creative spark off completely, but it turns out there was a little ember still there, buried deep down.
I love my blog. It might not seem like it recently, I have barely posted in the last month, but I really do love it. It’s my outlet and it’s my creation.
This time next year there will be another little creation on the scene, and who knows what they will be like. I keep saying I am hoping for a small and sleepy one this time, to make a welcome contrast to The Baby, but actually I really don’t care as long as they know they are safe and loved and secure. And this time around I will be writing all about the upcoming trials and tribulations and no doubt sharing way too much, and I can’t wait.
Thank you everyone for reading this silly blog for the last nine months, I appreciate it more than you could know.